Confuse (Post Graduation Syndrome?)

I am currently employed by a foundation here in Ormoc City, my home town. It's actually just a project, they needed writers, and my mom is a member so she suggested me. I was told to look for a team of three to four people to help me with the project. 

Currently, I've been waking up early in the morning to prepare for interviews. I've only been in this job for less than a week, but its really tiring. I cannot imagine doing this kind of job everyday! :| But I actually enjoy it, I get to learn many things. 

I must admit that agreeing to the project was my way of saying, "I'm not yet ready for the real world." Its not because I don't have confidence or that I lack the right character and attitude to barge into the "real world." I am not yet ready because I haven't answered one of most important questions of my life, "What do I want to do?" Honestly, if I had my way I would travel the world - experience a different culture, taste the life of a foreigner, learn the native's language and so on. But I don't have that luxury, so I am still thinking of what I really want to do with my life. 

I had so many dreams before. I wanted to be in television as a segment producer and a head writer. I wanted to be a journalist and live the life where passion becomes the bread winner. I wanted to become a hotel manager and smile at people all the time. My favorite dream is to become an author someday. I purely want to write out of my imagination and I don't care which genre it'll fall. Today, I can write a fantasy book and maybe the next day I can write romance. I still have these dreams. The problem is, I don't know which to start. 

I can still remember a workshop done by my Alma mater for the seniors. The school invited some speakers to talk to the seniors. One of the exercises was to close our eyes and imagine ourselves where we'll be in five years and then ten years. When I opened my eyes, I had a smile on my face, almost all of us had a smile on our face. Then the speaker told us to look at the person beside us and introduce ourselves as the person we see five years and ten years from now. This is exactly what I said, "Hi, I am May April M. Jimenea, executive producer for Warner Brothers."

The sweet dream I'll be chasing. We all had a good laugh, some were kidding but most of us were serious. It seemed funny then, but who knows? Maybe we'll really become the persons we envisioned that day. 

The thing about my degree is it is so broad. Unlike other courses that are specialized. When you take up Nursing, you're sure to be a nurse, when you take up IT, you're sure to know about computers and most probably end up as a programmer. With us? We learned the art of communicating. Some will never understand the beauty of communication and most of us aren't even sure how we learned it, we just did. All those papers, those productions and everything we did when we were in college led us to a treasure of knowledge about communication. So where do we go? We're trained as producers and writers, but we know, we have more capabilities than those. And this is where I get confused. What capabilities do I have and how should I maximize them? Questions, there are just too many of them running in my head right now.

I finally understand why life choices at this stage is very important. Whatever I decide to become today will lead me to a path. Honestly, I really can't see where I'll be this exact moment next year. Will I still be here in Ormoc? Will I'll be in Cebu? Will I'll be travelling? or maybe I'm married alread?? Just kidding. 

The point is, I think that being confused after graduation is normal. You get to live in a world where you have one goal, to finish your studies. When you achieved that goal, what's next? The next step is harder because this time, you get to live in a much diverse uncontrolled world. The dreams that you have before may not look so attractive anymore and you're faced in a dilemma. 

The only thing I've been doing is killing, I've been murdering time and thinking hard. When I'm done with this project, I still don't know what to do with my life. One thing is for sure though, I'll definitely visit my friends when I'm done. As for my life? Maybe new opportunities will come and let's see where it'll lead me.