Regrets of Love

Wrote this today, inspired by the song Somewhere over the Rainbow. I just listened to it and every time I do, it gives me a certain feeling. Today, I identified it as a melancholic feeling. Like that of a love that was right, but never meant to happen.

This is his side of the story, hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to write her side. 

HIM

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I gaze at her smiling at me as the wind blew her hair. I smiled back and she suddenly touched both my cheeks with her hands and kissed me at the nose. I smiled to myself, feeling every moment of it. Her lips touching my skin, the smell of her hair and the scent of her perfume, she simply took my breath away. I held on to her hips and started tickling her. She started laughing and moving away from me until she was freed from my grasps and she started running along the green fields. We were at the top of a mountain, overlooking the whole city; that was our place, something that only the two of us shared. She looked back at me as she was running and shouted something but I was too busy admiring her to even hear her. I just started running, catching up.

I caught up with her and I lifted her from the back and started spinning her. I heard her laughing. It was a moment I would always savor. I fell to my back and she immediately rolled over to my side and stared at me. For a moment we gaze at each other’s eye and I wondered if she read my soul through its windows. She gave me a funny smile, one I haven’t seen her in. She then turned her head and looked at the sky. She talked about how beautiful the sky was, I couldn’t agree more. She talked about how she missed me; I couldn’t have said it better. She talked about a love she never had, and a love she never told me because she was afraid it’d change everything, I thought she had it all. I asked about the man she was talking about, she just told me it doesn’t matter anymore because she was sure he doesn’t love her.

That’s when I thought to myself, who wouldn’t love this beautiful woman? I have loved her since the day I first saw her. She was nine and I was ten. She walked pass by me at a party, I followed her and I talked to her and things went crazy after that.

It was that day that we became best friends. I was always on her side and she was always on mine. Then one day when I was nineteen, my mother decided to move. The day I was to go was the worst day of my life. I watched her cried and I watched her heart being torn apart as I walked away and didn’t look back. I didn’t look back because if I would, I wouldn’t have strength to walk away from her.

That’s when everything changed. I got busy for a few months, adjusting and doing everything to fit in. At first we talked every day, then it went to talking every other night, then it became once a week, then once a month and ultimately, a few times a year. But I never forgot her, never. Now, after five years, we met again.

We watched the sunset together that day, holding each other’s hand. Then, we walked away from our place, not looking back. We walked away from our childhood. We walked away from the friendship we had and we would always have. We walked away from a love, too strong yet never said. We walked away to a life of what could have been for both of us. We walked away and didn’t look back. But I cheated, I turned my head slightly, and there it was; I saw us. Oh, the regrets of love, how I wish I could tell her how much I love her and how much I regretted the day I didn’t look back.

The mountain top would always be where I find both our love. It’s always going to be the place where we shared our dreams and hopes of having a life together. Unsaid, we have always loved each other, always.