I like you and I mean I really really like you. Well, I used to like you anyway.
So I guess the right way to put it is, I liked you.
They don't understand how much I liked you. They think that they do but they don't have any inkling of how my heart feels when you're with me. How many times have I told them that I don't feel the usual "electricity" when I see you? How many times did I told them to stop teasing me because it really has no effect? The truth is, I think of you and I miss you. But no electricity, no heart pounding and no blushing is the way that I liked you.
How does my heart feels when I'm with you? Simply happy, simply glad, simply light and just simply smiling. Your's was the only smile I could truly consider that brightens up my day. I love talking to you and I can't explain it in words. I can talk to you about almost anything in this world, like the man I always dreamed of.It's simple as that. Talking to you is like the most natural thing in the world and that doesn't happen all the time.
When I see your crazy smile it makes me smile and suddenly its as if I can do anything, I'm serious and I'm not being cheesy. It's you. The way you talk to me, the way you smile at me, the way you make me laugh, the way you make me feel secure, I like that.
You really don't have any idea about how I feel. You make me smile but you don't know it. You make me feel beautiful and I don't even know why.
I like you but I wasn't in love with you. I used to think that maybe this is how love works in the process. When you truly like someone, you don't need to feel all those electricity or like your floating. When you truly like someone all you have to feel is gladness that you're with that person and you wouldn't trade the moment for anything.
Maybe that's what love is. You don't need to feel all those feelings described in romance novels. You only need to be YOU because the person who can accept the real you is the person you want to be with. You make me feel like ME, like I'm at my best when I'm with you. You bring out the best of me and you don't even know it.
It was a beautiful journey. Liking you is one of the best things that happened to me because you made me realize so much. About me, about happiness and about moving on when its time.
You don't know you did all these things to me. I stand at the sunshine alone but I also stand at the rain alone. I liked you, I really did. But I can't keep on holding things that aren't meant to be mine. You're not meant to be mine, we're not meant to be together. I stand with my unrequited love alone in this journey because no one would understand how I felt. Love and like, it's not all about being in the sky all the time, it's about when someone pulls you to the ground and make you feel like a real person and then embrace you as a person, who can makes so many mistakes. It's when someone tells you its okay to cry and okay for your hair to be messy because it really doesn't matter. Love and like, its not just that the other person really cares about you, its how that other person makes you feel when you're confuse and you feel freaking ugly.
I really can't explain why I liked you and I guess no one will understand. It will be kept in the hearts of people who experienced the same thing.
But now the time has come for me to turn around and walk away from you. I'll surely miss the feeling but it's the right thing to do. You can't keep me hanging forever. I need to search what really love is for me and you, you're a part of it, but not the meaning of it.
I say goodbye to you, the person who made me want to fall in love all over again, fearlessly. Goodbye to the person who opened up my heart of the idea of love again.
Goodbye, to the only person who and will always make me feel high and grounded at the same time.
I maybe alone in the rain but it doesn't mean I can't dance with it.
Remembering you forever,
Black Orchid
