Before the Official Break!

While everybody is busy trying to fight their insomnia and get to sleep because of Misa De Gallo, I, on the other hand, is busy getting tired for the day hoping to have a good night sleep. It's been days since I had a good night sleep. You know the ones where you wake up and you don't feel tired at all? Just satisfied and happy? I haven't felt like that for a very long time, around two weeks. 

I used to be an early sleeper. When I was in high school, I couldn't stand sleeping late! I usually sleep around 8:00-8:30. I miss those days. It's 1:35 in my computer clock and I'm tired but I still have the energy to write.

Today was fun! I had fun with my college soul mates Hanna, Sheena and Fiona. We had lunch together and had really fun talking to each other. When it's just the four of us, everything seems to be right. We always laugh even if we have different personalities. Fiona and I probably have the most similar attitudes, we're so similar, there's not a day that we don't argue (in a sweet friendly way). In the end, we both shut up. Sheena and Hanna have the most compatible attitude. When one is weak in one point, the other is strong (Voldemort and Harry ang drama!) After the simple and late (Fifi was the first one to arrive) lunch, we all went to SM. We separated ways with Fifi and the three of us sticked together with the plan of going to WOF (as in dog!) kidding, World of Fun, and buying me a ticket for my trip home tomorrow (today?). The ticket line was hell! But, lets not dwell on my suffering. 

We had fun at WOF with a kiddy game called "The Butterfly Garden," and had a goal to have as many ticket as possible. Although it was a really kiddy game and it was only in a very short time, we exchanged our WOF tickets with rings! :) Yey!!

But unfortunately I had to cut our fun because I really needed to go home (bhaus) because I had a gift to give to a friend who's living in a few hours. I immediately went to the person as soon as I arrived and gave her the gift. I knew she loves Cecelia Ahern so I gave her one of her books. I hope she's happy, she looked happy though when she opened it. The message in one of the pages was really well thought with rhymes on it (right Fi, Shin and Han? hehehe ^_^).

I was supposed to pack immediately but I got stuck with talking to the three boys at the bhaus. Those three boys are really fun to be together, we didn't even notice the time. It was almost 12 when we separated ways. We had fun at doing games, cards and logical and stupid games. I didn't even notice how tired I was.

When I arrived at my room I packed immediately. Now my luggage is full and really heavy! It's because of the extra baggages (THE GIFTS!). One of the three musketeers went up the room, Edward, to copy a film. We had a little chat about some things. This time I was the one who was really talkative (LOL!). See, when Edward and I are alone, he's usually the one who talks which is so unusual, because I'm usually the one who talks. He is such a talkative person when there are only a few people. Last night, we talked for about an hour  and he talked most of the time. Hay naku! 

I think I've done much writing and chit chat. I think I can finally sleep. I'll wake up early tomorrow because my float is at 11AM. I'm excited to go home! :)

On Forgiveness

I once asked God to take away my pains, my sorrows and my angers. He touched my heart and as his hands left my heart, it brought with it every negative thing I felt. From then on, I felt calmer and then I started forgiving.


Now, as I stared into the shadows of the past, I asked myself, have I truly been given the gift of forgiveness? The answer is yes, I have. Because the truth is, forgiving is not easy. It doesn’t come when you need it to; instead, it comes when you’re ready. I was ready for forgiveness to enlighten my heart and it came. The truth is, forgiveness hurts. How can you look at a person who have hurt you and doesn’t feel any anger towards that person? That’s the power of forgiving.


Sometimes, when I look at what is around me, even though I’m trying so hard to put everything back the way it is and I still don’t get the treatment I deserve, I hang on to the thought of forgiveness. I have forgiven and I asked for forgiveness, even though I knew most of it wasn’t my fault. Unfortunately, I am being shut down and rejected over and over again. I tried reaching out even though I know I wouldn’t get an equal chance of being reached out.


I am contemplating, what has really become of this? It’s sad, so sad I don’t even want to say it because I’m afraid, I’ll finally admit it. Yes, I am still in denial with it. As of right now, I have reached my limits, but I’ll give it one more try.


I am the type of person who cannot let go easily when it comes to this issue. Yes, I must admit it, I’m emotional when it comes to this. It’s difficult for me, but right now, even if I’m trying, I slowly understand the things that are happening. I am slowly letting go, I am slowly losing hope and I am slowly becoming free from this. I could say that this is an emotional burden for me.


Tonight, I asked the Lord to give me strength. I need strength to try once more. I need strength to face what is coming. I need strength so that when I let go, I can stand up on my own. I need strength for myself, for not letting this even in my life affect me in my perception of friendship. I need strength from him to continue believing that there are people who will stay through the bad times. Most of all, I need HIM, because I know, I can’t go on without HIM; he who never stops protecting me and shielding me from more sorrows.


I am sorry for what this mess has become but I am sorrier for what the person has become. I can still be happy because I have forgiven and at least I know I tried my best, the person? I don’t know. I pray to the Lord to give the person peace in my and heart.


May the shadows of the past remains a shadow and may the light of the future shines even brighter, for me and for the person.

Taking Time and Talking to a Friend

Time has always been an unpredictable element. It goes too fast when you need it to go slow and sometimes, it runs out when you need it the most. I have to smile when I think about time. Most people don't recognize the value of time. I need time to think things through. I need time to heal the wounds I've gathered from a battle. I need time to wait. I need time to decide my faith. I need time ... you need time. 

I've been talking to a friend of mine. We go out at night and talk about time, its value, its importance and how vital its role is in the past and in the near future. We talk about the time when God's power was over us, the time when God lift up our souls when we thought we couldn't get through. We talk about waiting for the right time because we both believe that right timing is everything. When it comes to love, we talk about waiting for that one person who can ultimately accept us with our flaws and the mistakes we made in our past. We talk about waiting for God to introduce us to the one person who will be able to finish our sentences, the person who will laugh with us and cry with us. We talk about waiting for God's signal to say it's finally him, the person who doesn't ask us question because of his faith in us. We have recognize the value of time, and maybe then, things that we couldn't understand can be explain. 

Time has played a crucial role in both our lives; be it in our families and our decisions. Amazingly, we always discover and realize something new at the end of the day. We both have hidden secrets about our families. Probably the reason why we decide to keep it away from others is because we are both scared of the reaction of many. The truth is, its not that bad. We learn to overcome them and we learn to take them as trials with lessons. We both have hidden secrets and the reason why we're not sharing it is because of social condemnation. We both think in the same plane when talking about religion and God. Yes, we love God and we acknowledge him in all our success and failures. We call upon him, praise him and thank him and most of all, believe in him. But the truth is, believing in God and religion is two different things, and for that, I thank this friend for understanding what I actually mean by that. 

To the person I'm talking about, thanks for listening and sharing. Our talks is something I look forward to every week. Let God be the center of our friendship. ^_^