The Beauty of Unrequited Love

I’ve fallen for you. I don’t know how or when it happened, I just did. I fell hard and no one was there to catch me, not even you. But that’s okay, that’s what I get for devoting a piece of my heart to someone who can’t even looked at me the way I looked at him.

It might have happened the first time you smiled at me. Or maybe that one time when you looked so concern when I almost lost my balance, you were there to catch me then. I don’t know, I can’t be sure now. But I did fell for you, and I do like you. I like you very much.

I want you to stand in the ocean. See that? That’s how much I like you, maybe even bigger and wider than the sea.

I want you to dance in the rain. Feel that? That’s how silly I feel when you’re around me, but it always makes me happy, always.

I want you to watch Somewhere in Time. Got that? I will go back in time if I can and have that moment with you.

Have you heard of the song I Will? No? How about this:

Who knows how long I’ve loved you?

You know I love you still

Will I wait a lonely lifetime?

If you want me to I will.

So yeah, if you want me to, I will wait for you. This song might sound sad when it starts, but it’s actually a really happy song. 

I love you forever and forever

I love you with all my heart

And really, it is a song about waiting for the right person. And yes, I am waiting for the right person and I’m hoping it is you.

But I know, we have to face reality. You and I? Might never happened. But I guess that’s the beauty of unrequited love, it grows even when it doesn’t get the attention it deserves. It grows in a way that once-requited love cannot. Yes, I read that somewhere. And I can actually say, that much is true.

Can you imagine? Liking someone for so long. Devoting so much of oneself to someone who doesn’t even care. Now that is love, unrequited that is.

I daydream all the time. There would be this one time that you’d suddenly ask me out for coffee, we talk, you realized how much in common we have, you ask me out again. And that’s how we start our love story. 

Or maybe we got stuck in the rain. We talk, we laugh and we dance in the rain. You realized you like me, you ask me out. And that’s how we start our love story.

So many scenarios, none of them may even happen. But these thoughts actually make me happy in a way that people who have never felt this way will never be able understand. Like they say, wishing and dreaming is free after all.

I read once that when you wish exactly at 11:11, you’re wish will come true. I wished for you. :)

But I know, these things will never happen. So let me be with them. Don’t try to act like you care, because it’ll only make me fall harder. Don’t try to make me feel special, because it’ll only hurt me. And don’t say “we’re just friends,” because that much I know. 

I like you, I might even love you, but know this, I know where I stand. You’ll always be the guy I’ve devoted years of my life, without you even noticing. But that’s fine, I chose this. I chose you. Or rather, my heart did. 

And you know what, you’re so vain you probably think this blog is about you.


Disclaimer: This is just some random rant.  

Imperfect to Perfect Escapades

One fine day, my close friend called me up. Like what we usually do, we say hi, hello and asked how each other is. Of course, there is always something to rant about!

We both decided we needed a break. She was having a rough time and I was being too emotional with many things. Bottom line is, we were both having crap in our lives we just needed to breathe in and out. Suggestion came flying in and we finally settle on going to Moalboal. We both love the beach and my god, it'll be so relaxing to just lay around the beach all day. We set the date, it'll be on November 17.

You cannot believe how so much things can happen in a span of three to four weeks. We almost never got the break we deserved. But I pushed her into doing it and we ended up in a perfect escapade. :)

We realized that Moalboal is too far away and it's a little expensive. So we ended up going to Crimson Resort. I absolutely loved that day! Just the two of us, taking a nap in the beach, swimming with fishes, eating food, and living the resort life!

That was the break I needed, and she needed. But wait, we're not yet done. We promised to do something on February. I wonder where we're going, but definitely out of Cebu!

Yey to good friendships and imperfect escapades!

The beautiful view of the pool

Traditional vanity shot near the pool :)

With the good/great/best friend.

The view from our lounger, the beach is beautiful!

Fitness Buff??

I was never skinny and the truth is, I never dreamt to be one. I have attempted losing weight a lot of times, but none of them really worked. I think because I lack determination. 

Last Saturday, I enrolled myself in the gym. I was about to make an excuse to a friend who suggested it, but I told myself that I need to do this. And before I changed my mind, I told my friend that I will be seeing her in the gym that day. And so, the journey starts. 

I will not promise that this will last, because honestly, I am not yet ready to make that commitment to myself. I know, why am I doing this if I can't even commit it, right? But c'mon, I work 10 hrs a day, I barely have time to relax at home and I often sleep early because I have to work again early the next day. That is my routine. 

Today was my first time to go to the gym from work. I told myself that I had to bring my gym clothes and things to work with me, because if I don't, then I will never be able to go to the gym. If I have decided to go home before going to the gym, that would have been the end of it. There are too many temptations at home, there is the laptop, the bed, the bed, the bed. You know what I mean. So far, it was okay but it really is tiring. I am still trying to figure things on how this will work out. I am hopeful to keep this lifestyle. I intend to do it on a long term basis. 

My diet? I don't have a specific diet yet. I try not to eat pork anymore and not eating much for dinner. I am keeping a food diary where I can write what I ate. Studies show that people who keep food diaries are more likely to lose weight. So this is a start. Why I don't have a diet yet? Again, I work 10 hours a day, I don't know where I can insert my dinner and I really have no idea what to eat before going to the gym. I don't want to eat just anything. I want to eat light, but I always think that I might passed out in the gym. So yeah, I need to research this. Trial and error is the key. So my diet needs to be more specific and more planned. I hope to do a diet plan for myself in a month's time. Quite long, I know, but like I said, I'm still trying to work things out and understanding everything. I don't want to jump in another diet wagon just because it worked on Kate Middleton or Britney Spears. I need research, hello!

Why am I doing this? For my health. I want to be more fit. I want to be able to run 3kms without hurting myself. I want to be able to go into a crowd without having my anxiety attacks. But let's not kid each other, why of course I want to fit in small sizes. Of course, I want to look good. Of course I want to be 50lbs lighter. Of course, these are just some reasons. I will not lie, other than health purposes, I also want to look good for myself. The confidence that I will have! Imagine!

Let's stay fit everyone! 

Admit it

Everybody wants to be loved. I want to be loved. But just because you want it, doesn't mean you get it. Sometimes, you need to wait. You get lonely sometimes, admit it. However, at the end of the day, you smile because you know good things comes to those who wait.

Some things aren't meant to be in this world. You get your heart broken, admit it, you get bitter and sour about it. But if you believe in meant to bes then you have to believe in not meant to bes too. Close your eyes, you are where you are now because of what you have done in the past. If you want to push forward, move on, let go, swim over the water and burn the bridge down. Don't ever look back. Just continue walking, and someday, when you do look back, you can smile because you know, you have moved on. 

Made a mistake? Apologize for it. Apologize to the one you hurt and forgive yourself for it. It is not easy to forgive, and that is why forgiveness is a gift for the strong. Owe up to your mistake, stand up, sincerely say sorry. Move on. Learn from it. Don't let it happen again. But c'mon, admit it, it will happen again, not because we didn't learn from it, but sometimes, life just throw us a curve ball.

Thinking of going to the beach? Go and enjoy the sea breeze. Relax, reflect and be happy at the beach. Water is a mysterious element, it is very destructive, but it is also the element of peacefulness and serenity. Learn to love water. Relax in it, go swim in it, know it and let it take over you. Let's admit it, who doesn't love going to the beach?

Confuse with life? Get confuse. Nothing is wrong with not knowing what to do. The important thing is you don't go astray. Know what is right and wrong, stick to the right because it will lead you to the right path. Let yourself be lost, because in order to find yourself, you have to be lost first. Admit it, being lost can be quite fun too.

Let yourself go once in a while. Have fun, but always know that it has limitation. Excess but in control, remember that. Just admit everything to yourself, don't deny any emotions. Be sad if you're sad. Be happy if you feel happy. Be lonely if you have to. Remember, it is these emotions that makes us human. 

Mom, Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to the most wonderful woman in the entire planet. To the strongest woman I know, I love you and thank you for everything.

My mother is an awesome woman. Giving birth to 5 children, and a few miscarriages on the way. She has stood through all the rough storms and came out, though wet, even stronger. She is our bread winner. Using her intelligence, she made her way through society. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be where I am today. And I just don't mean that in terms of her financial help for college and everything. She was my inspiration. I did everything that I can so I wouldn't disappoint her. Here is a woman, who lost her mother when she was 15 and practically grew up alone, only to have a baby at 20 and live in a life of difficulties. But she made it through. My parents helped each other to achieve where we are now.

See? What right do I have to slack in school when I have hardworking parents who gave up everything they had for me and my siblings? What right do I have to shout back at them? What right do I have to not say thank you?

So everyday, I say thank you to God for giving me parents so wonderful. And to my mom, who have sacrifice so many things for us, her youth, her beauty, her happiness and her life, just to give us everything that we have now.

Mom, I love you, all your children do. You have never kept anything from us, we know what you've been through. When life punched you, you kicked it's ass. So thank you for making us strong, for keeping us grounded and for loving all our imperfections.

Happy Birthday queen B!

Those Days

I miss the days that have gone by. Those moments of simple smiles and those that is extraordinarily special. Those days when we laughed so hard, we cried. Remember the sleepless nights? We talk so much we didn't even notice the sun was up.

I miss the days that have gone by. Like shadow, they walked pass through us, without us noticing them. Like old writings in the wall, they've faded slowly.

I miss the days that have gone by. I wish I could have said more. Maybe I should have laughed more. Maybe we should have held hands more, so our fingertips would linger longer.

I miss the days that have gone by. The fragments of memories of our days are getting hard to remember. Now you’re gone, and all I do is reminisce. I wish you well, so be free and fly. 

Dear Tales and Trails

Dear Tales and Trails,

It’s been quite a long time since I posted something here, my apologies. This blog’s purpose has been solely to share about the journey and adventure I am in right now. I have not updated you with how my life is right now.

I am currently in a happy state. I feel so blessed more than anything. I am working in an industry where I have always dreamt of. I feel that this job fell into my lap, with me not making so much effort. But of course, I did what I had to get this job. This is why I feel so blessed. Everything is falling into places with my life. As they say, I’m on my way. I hope that while I am enjoying this adventure that I will not step into anyone’s toes and if I do, let it be those that can forgive me.

I have become more comfortable with being away from home. I guess, this is because of my work that requires 10 hours of my time every day. And maybe because, after five years of not being at home, I have finally come into terms with the fact that before I can go home, I have to find myself first. And for me, finding myself requires me to be independent. Which makes perfect segue to my next update. I am finally financially independent. This job that I have pays well, thank God. Because of this, my parents don’t have to regularly send me money anymore. So yehey! Another child off their list J

But even though I am away from home, I still have a balance life with my family. I communicate with them constantly thru texts, calls and facebook. I am blessed to have very supportive parents and siblings. They have been there with and for me all throughout everything. They were the first people to pull me out whenever I am down deep.

My friends? We’ve been told time and again that they come and go, but it is only now that I have realized that this is in fact a truth. Some have gone away, some stayed. But I am happy, because my few precious friends are still with me. Another blessing, I am able to balance them despite the fact that we are in different groups. In the end, I believe that we can only have so much people around us, and so few, that really sticks with us. I choose my friends, and I never regretted with those whom I chose.

Family, friends and career, so is that it? Ah but yes, there is the love life. I’m sorry to disappoint, but I am still single and still so happy about it. As of the moment, I’d rather bloom my way in my line of work than bloom for someone. But who knows, life always surprises us.

Tales and Trails, we’ve been through a lot huh? Thank you for being there for me.

Sincerely,

Scarlet_Tears

Written on October 12, 2012