Quotes

Maybe its better to let it all go than keep hurting ourselves.

Sometimes, having an emotional breakdown is what we need to become someone stronger.

I know when the day will come, I'll be better then I'll be deserving to have that one person that God made for me.

A Week of Mourning

So many things have happened this week. The Filipino people started their Monday glued to the television while the whole hostage crisis was being aired live in television. The next day, the Filipino had a short-lived celebration when Ms. Philippines-Universe was able to enter the top 5 and loss the crown because of her final question and answer. 


That night, I realized that two of my friends loss someone closed to them, one loss her father a day before her birthday, the other loss her aunt. 


Today, I started my day busy and cheerful, then, I was informed that my cousin succumbed to cancer. I will end my day today with a prayer. A prayer for the souls that were tragically loss to the hostage crisis. A prayer for the Filipino people to rebuild their homeland's image instead of pointing hands. A prayer for the "new" Philippine government to open their eyes - change is still a long way to go. A prayer for hope. A prayer for the souls of my friends special people. Most of all, a prayer for my cousin who bravely fought cancer until he couldn't take it anymore. 

To my cousin, I hope your doing well wherever you are. I hope that the pain is gone. I hope that wherever you are, you continually watch over your family and the people you were closed to. I won't see your smiling face again or all of your funny acts or hear your laugh ever again. You bravely fought the battle. I will always remember the time when I visited you at the hospital. Despite the pain, you still showed me a smile. I remember you telling me you're alright when I flinched seeing the big needle. You will be remember as the cousin who made  us laugh one way or another. Rest in peace Jufel. You will be missed by your friends, cousins, your brothers and sisters and most of all by your parents. 

We are all hand in hand as we say a prayer. 

Lovers of the Night

The stars lit up the sky as two people lie in their backs in a field of greens. The wind made the field danced and the deafening silence of the night hype the solitude of the two people who lied side by side.

He was made of pure beauty, like Zeus himself created him from his bare hands. She was a touch of both Artemis and Aphrodite, strong, powerful and lovely at the same time.

It’s only been three months but she knew she love him already. She breathes the fresh mountain air as the stars glow in a dark night sky. It’s only been three months yet she knew this picturesque moment would remain in the abyss of her memories forever. She felt him stir, and she couldn’t help but look sideways in his direction. He was looking at her intently and she gave him a timid smile before returning to gaze the sparkling sky. She was aware that he was still looking at her, probably studying her profile and trying to figure her out.

“Amazing,” she whispered under her breath.

“What?” he said gently.

He felt her taking a deep breath before saying,

“You …”

“Me?” he asked, softly.

“The experience of you is amazing,” she looked at him and he look back at her.

Their eyes fixed at each other, and he look back at the stars before he loses his control.

“The stars, it’s beautiful,” he said after a moment of silent.

“It’s stunning ... it’s splendid,” she said quietly.

“I want to reach it,” he said looking at her keenly on his side. “But I’m afraid I’ll only break it when I have it,”

She gulp the fresh air and said back, “You assume much. You haven’t even traveled the road in acquiring it and you’re already afraid of what might happen.” She shifted her body to the side, so as to look at him easily, he did the same thing.

“It’ll be difficult to reach it,” he utter, looking at her eyes.

“Even stars fall,”

“Then I’d wait for the day it’ll fall,”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t do anything to make it fall for you,”

“How do I do that?”

“That’s the challenge,” she smirked at him and went back to staring at the sky.

After a moment she felt his hands on her. She smiled and their hands held each other.

It’s only been three months and he knew he would take the challenge.

It’s only been three months and she knew she’s a prisoner of his eyes.

She held his hands and knew they’re thrown into a journey of emotions.

He held her hands and look at the stars, knowing he’d do anything to let the stars fall for him.

It’s only been three months since they first met, yet it feels like they’ve known each other for eternity.

They were lovers of the night and the stars were the only witness of their romantic escapade.

The Experience of UP COOKOUT MMX

I am suppose to write articles for my job, but I'm tired writing about something I don't have any idea. Let me released my stress by writing and telling some stories.

It's been a long week. It's officially one week after Cookout MMX, the event that each Churbarbies Sorority sister put an effort on. Most people would never understand what happens before the event itself, more so, what is is happening at the backstage during the event. Of course, the only people who can understand how difficult it is to bring to life a big event like that are the production team - this means from the executive producer, production team, production volunteer and down to the last people who helped that night. 

Honestly, I didn't feel the "air" or "tone" of this year's cookout. Of course we weren't able to enjoy this year's cookout, We were running around, it was a fun experience, with everyone having their fair share of obstacle. Despite that, I could say that we were successful inspite of so many obstacles we had to face on and before the night. I wish we could have enjoy it though. I had a job to do that night and enjoying it wasn't part of it, making sure that everything went well was my job.Everyone was in difficult post, everyone worked hard to see that every thing was fine. Everyone did their part, that's what sets us among others, when we work, we just don't work, we cooperate. We're just glad that it's over. Some people may criticize the Cookout, but let them be, they just can't understand how much effort and hardship the people behind it made. I understand these kinds of people because they simply think they can do better, when they really can't. Let me apologize to the people who were disappointed (they think they can do better - we tried our best) and I'm sorry for the people who got insecure.

In my opinion, Cookout has evolved, thanks to the previous organizers. This isn't just a UP event anymore wherein the only audience are UPians, this is an annual event that students even from outside UP look forward to. I'm not saying that this shouldn't be about UPians, what I'm saying is that, some people are expecting to have a good show at the Cookout. I'm saying that the audience of the Cookout has far reached other people who aren't from UP. I'm saying that Cookout is bigger than its original state, it has evolved into something for UPians, by UPians and to UPians and others who are interested to see this event. The organizer's burden is how to integrate the main concept of the original Cookout and at the same time be modernized and keep up with times.

This year, we chose to have Apathy as the main issue to forward. Our theme for the grand opening, stage design was Circus, for those who doesn't understand, this is because a circus has a lively feel, where everyone just wants to do something, this is contrary to what an Apathetic feels. We want to bring out the real Isko and Iska in every UPians heart by presenting something that will appeal to them to join in fighting such issue. Thus we have, Magpakabana, Manginlabot to the eXtreme. We really feel that we should be nationalistic in this year's Cookout. This is the reason we used Philippine colors for the official logo, had integrated national values to the Kantahan, Sayawan, Bandahan and Rampahan segment. 


Then again, enough with our best effort to put on a good show. We cannot please everybody. 


Thank you, to everyone who supported the Churbarbies Sorority, to the people who believed in us, to the people who tap our back before and after the show, to the people who stood up for us, to the people who saw all our efforts, we dearly appreciate all of your kind words. Thank you, to the people who scrutinized us, you only made us stronger. Thank you, to the one person who made our day last Monday, you totally proved to us that our event was the best you've seen. Thank you.. both to the haters and lovers, thank you. We will become better. 

Eight months to embrace student life. Eight months to do the things we haven't done yet. Eight months to enjoy and party. Eight more months to be with each other. We'll surely make the best of it. 

This was written last Friday...

A Memory Worth Remembering

I don't know what went through my mind. Probably because I told another close friend about you. Now there's three people in the world who knows about you, me and two of my friends. I suddenly miss you. Suddenly I wanted the good old days back. The days when you were still a part of my everyday life. The days when I waited for you to talk to me. The days when I thank God for having someone who understands me. 

They say all good things come to an end. The two of us were too good, we didn't stood a chance. Fate just intervened. You just had to say the feelings that were better left unsaid. We were good, now we're almost strangers. But I miss you. I miss the days when ... you were there for me. I can't turn back time. Yes, I regret it. I regret what happened to us. But no, I don't regret letting you go because I know that was the right decision. You're a part of my life now, you can't deny that. No one will understand why except the two of us. I really miss you. Its been almost a year since I let you go and months since I last talked to you. 

I read the letters you sent me. It made me smile and teary at the same time. I love the way you wrote my name in every letter you sent. I love how you put your name with the words, "in love". I love the photos you sent me. It's a good thing you sent me a photograph of yourself, so that I can't forget your face. But even if I forget your face, my heart, my mind and my soul will never forget YOU. 

Now I wonder how you've been doing. I wonder if your okay. I wonder if we can still be friends. I wonder if your still you.

I wonder and I wonder ....

Value of Love

Let's talk about the big word, LOVE. To tell you honestly, I can't say that I've already fallen in love. To me, love is too much of a word to use. I can't say the 3-word phrase to someone until I really mean it. That's what makes me different than others. I know that there are people out there who has the same views as mine, but right now, most teenagers used the word LOVE so much, it has lost its value to those people. It's overrated, really, it is. Just because you feel you're heart beating so fast, or that you can't breathe anymore, doesn't mean its already love. Maybe your just having a panic attack or whatever. 

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The word love is overused. Honestly, I think that most people don't even know what it means anymore because they've exploited its merit. It's not that I'm against love or whatever, I'm actually in love with love. The concept of love is too beautiful, too idealistic, too good to be true. Imagine, having someone who will understand you, who will accept you for who you are, who will be the one to finish your sentences. Imagine someone who will go through all your bad moods and still manages to make you smile. Now, that's something everyone would like to feel. 

Also, I'm not saying don't take chances. All I'm saying is be sure of your feelings for that someone before you say the 3-word phrase. Whether or not that person accept your feelings, at least your sure of what you feel. Being sure lessen the feeling of regret later. You can only treasure the value of love if your sure. So you asked, how can I be sure? Well, its really up to you. If you think your ready and he's worth it, why not. Just remember, when you say those words, your giving up a part of yourself. Your giving something you can't take back. 

Here's the part where you're giving up a piece of your heart. Imagine your heart, every time you say "I love you" to a person you take a part of it. Each time, your heart gets smaller and smaller. Imagine, you're finally meeting the "right one". You check on your heart, and you see how small it is, and that's all you can give to the "one". You realize you've wasted so many I Love Yous to the wrong person. Going back to my point, be certain. 

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I actually don't know why I'm ranting about LOVE. 

Maybe because I believe in the idea that True Love Waits. 

My own version of Prince Charming will come someday and when I'm sure of it, I'll tell him how much he means to me. 

Secrets ...

Everyone have secrets, of that I'm sure. There are things you don't want to share even to your closest friends. Maybe you're afraid to be judge and misunderstood or maybe its just a social taboo to talk about it. So you keep it within yourself, not saying anything. Its when you really want to tell the world about it but you can't because maybe they'll condemn you. It's a secret you won't tell. 

Suddenly, someone tells you they're going through the same thing and suddenly the world is lighter. Today, I realized I'm not the only person on the boat. I thought about other people who are struggling with their feelings about something and how it is very difficult for them. It isn't really a social taboo but as what a friend say, I'm afraid of social condemnation even though it's happening in the status quo right now. This is a situation where none would understand if you're not on the same page as me or if you're not open-minded. Maybe I am afraid of social condemnation, I'm also afraid of society's dictation. Then again, I've always been a pro-choice. I tried not to be hypocritical with things. I am a woman of principles. I've always looked at people in a different view because I don't want to judge them base on society's norms. This is what being a UPian has taught me, that there's more than meets the eye. So I choose not to share this secret because I feel that some people aren't ready for it. Believe me, it has nothing to do with sexuality, if that's my problem, it would be really easy to say it out loud. It's something more, more personal than I thought. 

I'm glad to know that someone is actually there with me on the boat. 

Some secrets are worth the keep, they are the ones you'd rather want to have as a good memory. 

What's your secret?